And I know I broke yours too. I am sorry. There's really a lot of things that I didn't tell you. I just can't tell you. I don't know why either. Perhaps because everything was my fault. I am really at a loss of what to do. Everyday, I am just replaying the conversation we had on that day in my head. And I regretted telling you that. Cause if I didn't, we might be spending some time together right now. Totally regretted.. But what can I do now? Maybe that's why I don't feel like telling you anything? Just in case I make everything even worse? I had been trying very hard to forget about it. But like I told you, everytime I tried to forget, it became even more clear in my mind. And things were made even worse by your class performance. It wouldn't have been so bad if my class performance wasn't right after yours. Then at least I wouldn't be able to see you so close to me.. This is totally ridiculous but I really.... I really don't want to watch you dancing so happily with her. I know you didn't choose it but still... The feeling is just natural. So to avoid having that feeling, I just don't look at you then. And yesterday during the first rehearsal, I wouldn't have been so high if it wasn't because we were all going crazy at that time. And I know you were standing at the glass door during my class performance. So I just choose to look somewhere else. I don't know why but I really don't want to see you yesterday. It is just that. No special reasons. And I don't know why I just don't want to reply your message when you text me last night. Maybe to see how much you would care? But I guess I still replied because I really miss you. And till now, my heart still hurts. Knowing that I am not as important to you as you are to me. But I am forcing myself to accept it. Since I can't expect you to treat me like how I treat you. And I don't dare to tell you. Because I don't think I can take all those things that you might say to me again. Really wished that you can be with me. At least it shows that I am still important to you. But I guess it will never happen. So I can only hug my teddy everyday. Was hoping that you could be with me today, but since you are busy, then it is okay barh. At least I still got teddy. :')
