And that is exactly what I am going to do. Whatever shit happens, no matter how unhappy or sad or angry or pissed off, I am just going to smile and act like nothing happen. Even if it is a war zone in my heart. And obviously I have my reasons for doing so...
Anyway, had been real busy recently. Every single day study study study. Can't even have a proper weekend due to the amount of homework and OVERDUE homework. I am free to be here today is due to the fact that next week is school holidays. But so what if it was the school holidays ? Being booked by the school from Monday to Friday. I am glad that they didn't take away my weekends. -.- It doesn't even feel like it is the school holidays. Even yesterday, most of the sec 4s doesn't feel like it is the last day of the term. Poor us.. :( And one term have passed. O level is nearer and nearer. The nearer it is, the more we have to study. Oh god.
And, I am going crazy ! HEHEHEHEHEHE ! Changed our seating arrangement so me and JiaLin are not sitting together in that windy spot anymore. My current seat is quite windy though. Just not as windy. And at least that crazy woman is diagonally from me ! ^^ And I can see him from where I am sitting ! Don't know if that is a good thing though. It just seems to be always distracting me. :( Must have self-control already ! Cannot be always looking out for him ! Must concentrate more on my studies ! Didn't do well for term tests. And the whole class kena scolding on Thursday.. So we made a point that our goals will be L1R5<20 for prelims and then tell the school in their face that we don't want to join their stupid club. HEHEHEHEHE ! I think we rock man ! And talking about him, all I can say is,
And that feeling just continue to stay in me.. Every fucking time when I see the two of you talking to each other, I just have that thought. That thought that maybe you should belong to her after all.. That thought that make me feel so useless, so unwanted, so not special. Somehow, I feel that you treat all the girls the same. And that makes me not special at all.. Or rather make me feel not special. And every fucking time I talk to you about her, it will miraculously end up being my fault. And I just have to smile and act like nothing happen, act like it doesn't affect me, when in actual fact it is tearing me apart.. And this is for you if you are reading this.
Yes,
And also,
But nonetheless,
And I will smile, because I can.
