Life sucks. Really. There isn't a single day where things would just turn out like how I wish it will. Even by stating something in general that another person also agree, I get laughed at, being judged at, being left alone and not being cared by anyone. I have always tried to please everyone, by agreeing to everything they say, do whatever they want, etc. And I am tired of always doing that. No one appreciate anyway. So i just decided to start behaving like how I want. All I did was to treat people like how they treated me and say what I really want to say on twitter, I got scolded, blamed, misunderstood, laughed, and every single other suckish thing that you can ever think of. Don't say you can understand me. Cause the truth is, no one does. Everyone has at least a best friend that they can rely on. Me lerh ? My cute teddy bear whom I always hug to sleep when I am feeling down ? It can't even talk to me.

And if you are reading this, this is for you. I know you don't like me saying all those stuffs about you. But honestly, think about it yourself. Aren't they true ? Those things aside, how do you feel when I ignore you ? How do you feel when I give you the black face when you want to talk to me ? Do you know that that was how you have treated me for don't know how many times already ? I always bear with it. And i tried to think in your shoes. That's why I always never say anything. But I really can't take it anymore. So i wanted to do the same thing to you and to let you know how I feel. But what is the result ? I was being blamed for treating you like that and not thinking in your shoes. What about you try thinking in my shoes ? What have I been going through the past one and a half year ? You said I am your best friend. Honestly, I believed you. I wanted you to be my best friend too. But I am sorry. You don't understand the meaning of 'best'. 'Best' means the only one. And yet you have so many many other best friends. I don't expect you to not treat them like your best friends, but I am just sorry alright ? I am just a selfish girl who wish to be treated like how I treat others. And since you are my only best friend, I wanted that too. But since I can't control you, the least that I can expect from you is for you to treat me as equally as your other best friends. But from what I am seeing and feeling, pardon me if I am wrong, I am being treated even worse than your friend. I don't want to quarrel with you about this anymore. So well. I just want you to know how I feel.

And this is for the other you. Whatever I tweet isn't about you. But I cant deny that it wasn't inspired by you. You were just so secretive. So it just made me realised that I didn't like people being secretive. And if you don;t want to say, maybe you should have just kept quiet and act like you don't know anything ? Maybe it affect or doesn't affect you since I am a nobody to you, but i really wished that you can think in my shoes. I have always treated you like a good friend, always trying to please you. I tried to sustain a conversation with you, only to be failed by you just making some sounds or just moving your head. I wanted to have a happy conversation with you, just like what everyone have. Do you really hate me that much that you don't even want to talk to me ? If so, please let me know. Friends aren't supposed to have any secrets within us isn't it ? So I supposed you don't treat me like a friend anymore. Sorry that I always bother you. Sorry if I have offended you. I really am. But I really still treat you as a good friend.

I am really tired. Tired of trying to chap into everyone's conversation because no one will want to talk to me. Tired of trying to decide whether to continue pleasing others or to be myself. Tired of trying to please everyone. Tired of facing the emotions that just came to me after what people say about me when I say what I really want to say. Sorry everyone that I am not good enough. Sorry that I can't please all of you all. Sorry that I always interrupt all your conversations. Sorry that I always try to act like I am just like you all so as to be able to fit in. But all I wanted was seriously a life that everyone else have. The kind of life that they can always go find their best friends when they needed help.